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Modern English Handbook

I’ll melt with this Modern English Handbook. Get it? Modern English was an 80s ‘one hit wonder’ band (the hit was “I Melt with You“). Get it now? Whatever. I’d wager this book is WAY more exciting as a safe than a book. The graphics are crisp and cool, imo. The other cool thing, imo, is that it says “MEH” in big letters on the front. It’s a sentiment I’ve known for decades, but as an official term, it seems to be more recent. According to the Wikipedia, it appeared as early as 1992 in a Usenet posting discussing the television series Melrose Place. My wife got me caught up in that show for a while; I thought it was meh. Daphne Zuniga was in that. Her name sounds like a pharmaceutical. Talk to your doctor before trying Daphne Zuniga.

Professor Pomegranate’s Reeference Books, with Elements Rolling Papers and Rolling Machines, are book safes that encompass subjects that cause even the most ardent academician’s eyes to glaze over with boredom. Little will their big brains know the secret knowledge therein contained. There’s not much more satisfying than outsmarting an authority figure, especially one that thinks they’re intellectually superior. Not having your contraband confiscated is pretty satisfying too, I’ve heard.

Published 1967

Compartment Size: 4″ x 6″ x 1 1/8″

Book Size: 6″ x 8 5/8″ x 1 1/4″

Weight1.775 lbs
Dimensions11.25 × 8.75 × 6 in


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