TB12 is Brady’s Bunch of BS by JJ Pomegranate February 7, 2018 – Posted in: Center for General Hyperbolics – Tags: backgammon, book safe, bookgammon, charity, philadelphia eagles, slybrary, tom brady, vice vault
In honor of Super Bowl LII Champions the Philadelphia Eagles, the Slybrary is featuring this Bookgammon set, Great American Athletes of the 20th Century.
I was going to write this yesterday, but needed another day to settle down after my beloved Eagles’ stunning victory. I grew up in Allentown, PA, which is pretty much equidistant from NYC and Philly both physically and mentally. This makes for an almost universal hatred for all Boston sports, with the Patriots being no exception. Be that as it may, I think it’s safe to say that of all the outstanding athletes that played Sunday, only Tom Brady would appear in this Century’s edition of this book.
Though there may be no denying his stellar statistics and the fact that he may be the greatest QB of all time, I prefer to focus on his character, or what I can surmise of it based on his latest TB12 venture at any rate. In a word, I think he’s a douche. Granted, I already admitted to hating Boston sports, but this has absolutely nothing to do with sports. This is all about his being a greedy little bastard.
We’ve established he’s an insanely successful professional athlete, so cha-ching there; add to that his super model spouse and her millions and they’re clocking in at around a $540 million net worth. I gotta think that would be enough to get them through their golden years. Why then is he charging such exorbitant prices (restistant bands at $160, nutrition manual at $200, vibrating foam rollers at $200, vibrating sphere at $150, weighted vest at $140, heck, even $30 for a t-shirt)? These prices are at least double what comparable items cost. You might say his aforementioned prowess on the football field warrants the price hike attaching his name incurs. Or, perhaps your argument would be that if you want to experience the kind of success he has, you’re going to have to pay for it. In either case my response would be something along the lines of, “shut the fuck up!”
I haven’t fully examined the TB12 system, but I’m pretty sure two key necessities are suspiciously missing. First, it really helps to land a job in which you not only make millions of dollars, but part of the job description is working out and staying in shape. Second, and this goes lockstep with the first, make sure that job also surrounds you with some of the best trainers and medical staff available. Hm. Now that I mention all that, perhaps his target audience is in fact his fellow NFL players. I wonder.
Regardless, what would you think of Brady if instead, maybe he gave his method away for free for the betterment of humanity? I mean, he has plenty of cash, why not? I, for one, would be a heckuva lot more impressed with him. Apparently though, even when being charitable, he’s somewhat self-serving, and that’s according to the Patriots’ hometown newspaper, The Boston Globe! It seems the organization he’s most active with, Best Buddies, is the biggest donator to Brady’s own Change the World Foundation, through which he’s made the following questionable donations:
- $250,000 to his high school alma mater, which happens to be located in an affluent suburb of San Francisco (which makes it like exponentially affluent). Seriously? Take a look at some photos of the school and tell me you couldn’t find one in more need (pics).
- $100,000 to the church he was married in, for Christ’s sake. What in God’s name…
- $50,000 was donated to OSU on behalf of the Victoria’s Secret exec who supposedly set Brady up with Bundchen. Technically that’s NOT prostitution.
- $30,000 to his kids’ private schools, because they’re not benefitting enough just yet.
- And to me, the real kicker, $100,000 to the TB12 Foundation. That’s right. Money from Best Buddies went to his Change the World Foundation, then onto his TB12 Foundation. WTF? Not only that, but the TB12 Foundation supports CLIENTS of this whole TB12 fitness and nutrition thing! These are clients that are already able to afford that shit!
So there you have it. I hate to kick the guy while he’s down, but no I don’t, not even a little. I used to just have the standard sports fan hatred of Tom Brady in that he was really good but not on my team. It’s become genuine now. Not exactly hatred, but let’s give him some time. Right now, I find his greed to be an affront to humanity. It’s inexcusable.
To end on a high note and make this a bit more upbeat, I’ll bring it back to the Eagles by highlighting the charitable efforts of Chris Long. His entire 2018 salary was donated to organizations that promote educational EQUALITY in the 3 cities he’s played in. I find it ironic that he was on the Patriots last season, so his donations in Boston are the kind Brady SHOULD be making. Attaboy Chris! Cheers to being an upstanding citizen of Earth and a true world champion!